Attention: A precious and finite resource
May I have your attention please? Our attention is a precious and finite resource, especially within the cultural context of our 21st century western society. We are exposed to more information and stimulation than our brains were ever meant to hold. In my work as a therapist, I often hear people express frustrations about their relationship with technology, screens, and social media. Many of us feel a desire to be more present, yet it can feel confusing to do this when there are so many demands on our attention and bright, flashy, cheap dopamine sources all around us. As a Neurodiversity Affirming Therapist (and ADHDer myself), I recognize that this dilemma can be even more challenging to navigate for neurodivergent individuals.
With ADHD, attention can be unpredictable, non-linear, and interest-based. For example, you might wake up one day feeling energized, focused, and ready to deep dive into hyperfocus mode. This might allow you to make progress on your goals, check things off your to do list, and feel a sense of satisfaction. The next day, you may wake up feeling like a potato, noticing that your brain and body feel maxed out and you just need to do the bare minimum required to get through the day. You may also experience the unique paradox of being able to engage your hyperfocus easily when delving into a fascinating topic or a passion project (thank you, interest - based nervous system!) while building up the gusto to approach boring or mundane tasks may feel incredibly daunting. This is all very natural, albeit frustrating at times, and it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It does, however, mean that you need to find your own neurodiversity - affirming practices, supports, and accommodations. Regardless of your neurotype, you deserve to find a sense of agency within your relationship to attention, and to connect more fully with yourself, your people, your surroundings, and the present moment itself.
So, how can we be more mindful about where we put our attention?
Something to remember is that what you give attention to grows.
“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” -Simone Weil
The more you take time to care for your mind and body (even if it’s 5 minutes), the more your brain and nervous system learn how to do this (and remember that it feels good). You know what they say, “neurons that fire together, wire together.” This is where resourcing comes in! Resourcing is the practice of orienting to something that feels good, relaxing, neutral, or nourishing. These positive experiences build up over time to create balance and regulation that ripple throughout your nervous system.
A simple way to resource is to build periodic check - ins into your daily rhythms.
This is a chance to pause, take a breath, and ask yourself a few questions such as:
How do I feel right now?
What do I need right now?
What is one small way I can take care of myself?
Another practice that can be helpful (and reduce decision making fatigue), is to make a resourcing menu with different categories based on energy levels. The menu can include categories for low, medium, and high energy resourcing practices / activities / supports. Menu-ing is a great way to access choices without entering the terrain of complete overwhelm. For example, for some people, the question “Would you like pizza, sushi, or mexican food for dinner?” can feel much more approachable than the open-ended question “What do you want for dinner?” We can practice menu-ing for ourselves and within our relationships.
Some examples of low energy resourcing:
Watching a comfort show on the couch with your coziest blanket
Listening to your favorite podcast while laying on the floor
Playing a relaxing video game
Gentle stretching
Playing with a fidget toy
Some examples of medium energy resourcing:
Going for a walk around the block
Doing a sudoku puzzle or crossword
Journaling
Crafting
Some examples of high energy resourcing:
Going for a run, hike, or attending an exercise class
Enjoying live music or attending a cultural event
Playing DnD or other table top games
Going to a new place and wandering about
You might decide to create a tangible menu and put it on your fridge or somewhere you walk past regularly at home. You may also try putting the menu in the notes app of your phone or taking a picture of it so that you can reference it whenever you are out in the world. This can be an experiment to discover what works best for you, while understanding that you might need different things on different days.
At Sunrise Fox Counseling, I am passionate about helping neurodivergent adults find creative ways to approach their attention with integrity, understanding, and care. I am passionate about helping you find ways to partner with your wiring instead of working against it, in order to cultivate a meaningful life that is aligned with your values. Neurodiversity Affirming therapy is a way to receive nonjudgmental, compassionate support as you deepen your connection with yourself, your people, and the world around you. Learn more about Neurodiversity Affirming Therapy to see how it may support you and your goals. Whenever you are ready to begin, schedule a free 20 minute therapy consultation or contact me to learn more.